Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
