She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We had to coat check the pizza.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
