a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
please come you make the beer taste better
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
