mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
