check it out our google latitudes are spooning
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
