My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
A bitchslap is in order.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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