Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
