I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
