he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
