your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
