i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
