im six kinds of drunk right now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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