So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
