you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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