He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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