Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
