I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
