Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
