You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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