Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
