i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
