Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
