What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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