Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
