Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
