Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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