He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he fucked my hip out of place.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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