Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
