whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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