ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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