is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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