There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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