This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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