How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
