You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
