There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
