You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
