i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
