So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
