It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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