Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
