That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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