i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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