im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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