I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I smell like Dick and happiness
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
