Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
