So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
