i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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