Non-Jews are for practice
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
