Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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