she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
