Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish I only lived at night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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