i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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