True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
