Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
