The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
